News Break:

By: Unknown

The Pirate Captain, Whil Piavis, has won the runoff election for Student Body President of NCSU. As I've mentioned before, I am unabashedly pleased at the outcome. Piavis has proven himself a skilled and dedicated Populist candidate who knows the desires of the Student Body. When one considers that student government is merely a representative body, like a labor union, not a legislative body, it's apparent that knowing student tastes is the most important thing.

I, for one, welcome our pirate overlords.

~By my hand,
Michael Akerman